Ever want to shake someone? I mean shake some freakin sense into them? It is so easy to be outside a problem and have the clarity of sight to dissect exactly what needs to be done.
I have a few friends with problems who continue making the same bad choices over and over again. It reminds me of the saying by Mark Twain, "if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you always got".
One friend likes the adult beverages a bit too much. He has a long history of problems associated with his drinking. There have been arrests, jail time, crashes, a lost job and finally the revocation of his license. He is fortunate that in all his drinking and driving in the past there was not real damage done. He no longer drives and for a good 4 years he stopped drinking completely. However, he now feels some beer and wine is not that bad and that he can handle it.
He can't handle it! Sure he is okay with a drink or two in a social situation, but his problem is that once he starts drinking he is unable to stop. I have seen him go through bottles of wine and over a case of beer in on binge. He is a friend and I have told him that I don't like his drinking and will no longer have anything to do with him when he starts getting drunk. It saddens me, because I know where he is heading. Nothing good ever comes from doing anything to excess.
I cannot keep nagging him and I am afraid I am getting to the point where I will have to walk away from a friendship because I do not want to see where this will end.
The other friend that needs a good shaking it one of my favorite people. In fact, her and her husband are two of my favorite people, but trouble has landed at their doorstep. They have been married 18 years and about two years ago my friend discovered her husband had been having an affair. Not a one night stand, but a full blown affair that went on for months. My friend was shattered. The couple have children and she only works part-time and thoughts of what to do next nearly crippled her with fear.
She had always been suspicious in the past as there where slip ups on his part. Secret emails, flirting and she busted him for kissing another woman years back. But the affair took her legs out from under her. They worked through it and he was not to see the other woman again (did I mention the other woman was married) and he re-devoted himself to her and their marriage.
We all know that men always learn from their mistakes. Oh I wish that were true. Fast forward to three months ago and another little secret gets revealed. The guy is still carrying on with the woman he had the affair with and my friend is again devastated. She tells me that she thinks she should get out of the marriage that she has no trust for this man. I feel so bad for her and seriously want to shake the shit out of him. He has turned from a really great guy to a selfish, self-absorbed, idiot! I do not know what my friend will do. Financially she cannot afford to pick up the children and leave, but her sanity cannot take staying.
Did I mention he had other slip ups along the way? Some she knows of and a couple that she doesn't.
I feel bad that I have not called or written to see what she is going to do, but I really do not know what to say to her. Plus, I just feel so bad for what she is going through.
No comments:
Post a Comment