I smell ripe...

I off today and I did exactly nothing! I slept in, made coffee, ate some very bad meals and did not even bother to bathe. So now I am a sticky smelly mess and I am good with that.

See I am alone this week as me better half is off doing good deeds elsewhere. So, I am left to my own sloth-like devices.

What I should have done today includes cleaning the house, running, working out and maybe watering the droopy plants. If the plants survive I will tend to them in the morning and maybe even attempt to eat one healthy meal - but I doubt it.

Okay, here is the totally sick bit! I was craving something sweet and even contemplated getting in the car and driving to the market to buy ice cream or some other empty caloried treat. However, that would have required a bath and clean clothing, as if! I found a can of sweetend condensed milk and did what any other filthy sloth would do, I opened it at started eating it by the spoonful. After I consumed half of the can I decided to brew another pot of coffee and pretend it was an ingredient instead of a snack and sweetened my coffee with the second half of the can. Good Times!

I am not one of those people who thrive when left alone. If alone long enough I would most likely turn into a shut in who never bathed or trimed my tonails. I would close all the windows and blinds and become very pasty white and totally fat. I require another half to nag me into eating well and cleaning behind my ears and every so often exposing my skin to the sunlight.

I become far more productive with someone nearby. I find ways to avoid them and that is when I pick up a book, take a class or go for a good 10 mile run. Avoidance becomes my driving force.

So this day being an ode to all my manly dusgusting habits I shall embrace the few waning hours. Tommorrow I shall awaken, peel the sticking sheets off my filthy body and return to my healthy ways, or maybe I will break down and eat a carton of Ben & Jerrys.. I will see how I feel when I awaken.

Cheers!