Royalty

A few days ago I was fortunate to work a stepdown unit that was blessed to have a princess as one of the patients. Yes, she was dear old thing who insisted that everything around her be just right. This included being bathed twice per day and always at shift change. Her meals were to be set aside for exactly 30 minutes and then immediately rewarmed and fed to her while her royal husband pointed out everything the staff did incorrectly.

Her highness graced us all with her lovely demeanor and shared her opinions at will. She so loved the minorities in the unit and would give them all special nicknames so they could feel her love. Her highness could not be bothered with such trite tasks like changing the channel on her television and would insist on having one of the servants (ie. nurses) come in to change the channels for her what her husband looked on with disapproval.

In fact the only think the royal one could do with any regularity was press the call button repeatedly. She had a beautiful voice and most of the times the staff could hear her loving voice as her call light was sometimes overlooked. She was unable to walk without the assistance of two staff members unless her requests were not met within an appropriate time frame and in those rare cases she was lifted from her bed like a feather and floated to the door to gently wave down a staff member as only she could.

Oh the joys of tending to the needs of her royal highness. Fluffing her pillow every twenty minutes, rubbing her feet with only warmed lotion and rearranging the cards on her windowsill so that the sun would not fade them throughout the day.

If only all our patients shared her pedigree and class, but I guess West Virginia does not have that many princesses in the state. It is a shame that she was transferred to a rehab facility. However, she should feel special in that every single staff member felt something very real as she was wheeled out of the building.