The Vile Unit

There is a particular unit in the hospital that I hate working. Not just me, but every float nurse hates working. It is grimey, the nurses there are all former truck drivers or long shoreman and the aids are fat and particularly at playing hide and seek.

Anyway, I was (cursed) assigned to that wicked vile unit and decided instead on throwing my usual tantrum I would be the bigger person and accept my fate. I was determined to get through the day as best I could.

I arrive and ready myself for report. The nurse who is giving report is a particularly rough around the edges and very loud. I picture her giving report with a lit marlboro dangling from her lips. Yup, there will be no dainty nurses spotted on this unit!

The report started by her telling me there were no aids on the floor that night so she had to fend for herself with her three patients. So there were no baths given and no dressings done.

WTF?? Three measly patients and the lazy smoker cannot do one fucking bath? I know those lazy bitches sit arround most of the night eating and blathering at the mouth. I have worked nights and had way more than three patients by myself and was still bored out of my mind!

Anyway, sunshine goes on to tell me it is VERY important that a particular patient gets a bath this morning before returning to her nursing home. She goes on and on about how important it is. I am thinking if it was so damn important she should have done one during the 12 hours she worked.

I escape from her rotten breath and my ears are still ringing as I go meet my patients and begin assessing them. I hear her outside in the halls telling people how the woman needs a bath. C'mon go the fuck home already!

I am almost to the room that requires a STAT bath and I hear the loud one. She comes to my room to tell me that she bathed the patient. She stated she knows how time passes in the morning and she wanted to help out. No, she wanted to milk the fucking clock.

When I finally reach this patient she is a very alert elderly lady who goes on to tell me that the nurse had not been in to see her the whole night until she raced in to give a two minute bath. The woman was not happy and she went on to explain how she called her daughter to complain about being left alone all night and apparantly the daughter called rotten breath and that was why the bath was so important.

Upon leaving the room I see rotten breath still going on about how she has gone above and beyond her job staying late to care for this patient. All I want to do it hit her with the chart I was holding in my hand. The gall of that fat lazy heifer proclaiming herself as a super nurse for barely doing parts of her job!

This is a prime reason people hate this sorry ass unit!