I feel like I have just returned from war! I am beaten and battered, ears ringing and feet aching. The shift from hell. No the shift from the region beyond hell and I made it to the other side.
It all started during report. The night nurse tells me that of the five patients on is lucid all the others are nuts! During report, three calls were fielded from family and residents - yikes!
The entire shift was fielding phone calls, shipping patients to and from procedures, sorting out family drama, keeping patients dresses and in bed and cleaning poo and piss from here to eternity.
The particular unit I was working on had an unusual way of tracking one down. The unit secretary would SCREAM your name until you came to the desk )for call, physician or family member). So I heard my name screamed so much I was having flash backs to my childhood.
At one point I was called out of a room because a patients adult son needed a physicians note for work. HUH? So I get to page the intern who said, HUH. She was the sweetest little thing and she came right up and delt with crazy family member #7. I have seen her on the other floors and the intern is always so sweet and nice and her senior is a bit of a well, not so nice.
One of my crazy patients was convinced there were squirrels running through his room. He tried to throw his food at them so they would go away and stop trying to attack him - good times!
Another patient was convinced his foley was a snake swiming up his penis and he was determined to pull it out - good times!
My 93 year old demented female patient wanted someone to scratch her vagina because it itched ever so bad - scarry times!
It is days like that where I know somewhere along the way i have made some bad career choices. Oh well, I made it through 12 hours and missed like a ton of orders. No one died, nobody fell and I did not strangle the unit secretary - so all is well that ends well!
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